Christmas is just around the corner!

For many of us this means hanging the lights, trimming the tree, wrapping the presents, and spending time together as a family. Your family may have the opportunity to spend a quiet holiday at home, but for many families, we will be traveling to see grandmas, host aunts and uncles, and even meet new cousins.

Traveling to visit out-of-town relatives can be overwhelming for any parent, but when your child struggles with his/her speech & language skills, visiting extended family can feel all the more daunting. For most of the year, nearby friends and family have walked alongside you, encouraged you, and assisted you through the difficulties your family faces on a regular basis. Sometimes, family members — especially those living in various states across the country — do not fully understand, and therefore, aren’t really sure how to communicate, interact, or even play with children struggling to speak.

How can we help our extended families understand? How can we turn our most worrisome time of the year into the most wonderful time of the year?

Here are 4 Ways to Have a Happy Holiday with your family:

  1. Communicate with your family & friends on the front-end.

    • Visiting your aunt in New York or cousin in Georgia? When calling ahead to determine who is bringing green beans and sweet potatoes for dinner, be sure to also share about your child’s progress this year. Share both small victories and great triumphs! Share the words he/she is speaking and/or books he/she is reading.

    • When asked by others what presents to give your children, tell them about the toys he/she is successful with, whether it’s a shape sorter, a new puzzle, or an interactive book.

    • No one can read your mind! Offer some suggestions to your considerate family members on the front-end. Your extended family may be anxious and intimidated by not understanding your child; encourage them not to be afraid, to ask questions, and to keep it simple.

  2. Reduce the “Baby-Talk.”

    • Oftentimes, when adults cannot understand children, the tone of their voice changes and they speak in incomplete sentences. This “baby-talk” is fine when babies are cooing in infancy, but should be reduced as they learn to babble and play with their voices.

    • Encouraging your family to speak normally around your child will help your child feel more comfortable and give additional models to encourage better speech.

  3. Prepare your child.

    • After sharing with distant relatives about your child’s speech and language skills, prepare your child, as well! They may be meeting several new people, and it could be quite overwhelming for them.

    • Talk to them about what may happen on your visit, and create a game-plan for your child if he/she needs a break or becomes frustrated. Develop a hand signal or gesture together before your trip, allowing your child to request quiet time, help, or a break. You may even talk about what airports are like, what new foods may be tried, or what to say to grandma.

    • Bring a few toys from home and a special blanket to help with the transition. Creating a plan and talking through events on the front-end will reduce the frustration and improve the celebration.

  4. Relax and enjoy!

    • It may be hard — there may even be a few tears — but remember your extended family loves you and your children! They want the best for your child, too, and are available to help.

    • You are brave and you can do this! It won’t be perfect, but no family is perfect.

    • Remember to have fun, educate, encourage, and make new memories!

With a little bit of prep-work, strategy, and grace for yourself, this can be a joyous time of the year with your extended family and friends. Even when it’s hard work, when others do not fully understand, and our children struggle to speak, let’s always do our best to  #RememberRelationshipsMatter. With our loved ones by our sides, it truly can be the MOST wonderful time of the year!

Victoria Burnos